I wish to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this chance to see shining examples of the teachings of A Course in Miracles, and for the first time in a lengthy while, I do not feel alone.
Element of me wanted to remain longer, but beneath that desire was thinking that I will be this for the incorrect reason; as an easy way to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I had had any insights. What I’m about to talk about wasn’t yet clear during those times; only on the drive away made it happen coalesce.
That morning, several lines from the Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never needs to have told you, never needs to have enable you to see inside acim teacher. Don’t are interested troubling your brain, won’t you allow it be?” This confused me as I really could not consider anything that I had said that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t are interested troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that probably the most prominent fear I had in coming to the Monastery was that I would somehow interfere having its residents’satisfaction, simply by my presence alone. This belief that I really could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for quite some time, and has colored many of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness soon after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of is own videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel as if the belief has been (has been?) released.
There are other items that happened that felt important, but I can’t consider them right now.
